I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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