Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We are all done wearing pants today
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize