i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
