Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize