yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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