she woke up with a sticky ear
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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