you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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