Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
