I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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