what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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