Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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