I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
