i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Randomize
