I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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