Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
