i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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