dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
