I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
