My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
