Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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