yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
