STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
