so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
