Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
