fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize