She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
