Dual....:-)
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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