I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
