Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
