Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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