Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
