I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
So much rum. So many feels.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize