She is in my trunk
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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