yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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