i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize