Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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