when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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