I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
