we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
