I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's blow job season.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
