I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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