the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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