just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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