There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
