So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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