My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
