things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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