i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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