i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He better not be in your backpack
I want to be your penis for a week.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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