well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
