kristin has been a bad kristin
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
