Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
