I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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