I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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