He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
