her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
