you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize