What a fucking waste of an outfit
I smell stomach acid.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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