at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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