I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
