i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
