so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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