I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The best revenge is premature balding
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
