The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
