I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
