Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
