Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
