I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
