take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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