Old men and throwing up are my life now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
